Coolness and Autonomy: The Paradox of Trying Too Hard
Coolness can’t be performed. Luke Burgis, in his new book, explores the psychology and philosophy of this tension – why trying to seem independent is its own form of neediness
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How to Apologize: Reflections on Forgiveness, Self-Forgiveness, and the Vulnerabilities of Being Human
“It’s permitted to receive solace for whatever you did or didn’t do, pitiful, beautiful human.” Few things in life are more painful than seeing ourselves act in ways orthogonal to our own values, watching helplessly as the consequences of those actions ripple out and hurt others, jolting us awake from the dream of perfection. Even…
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Guns & Killing
When a shooting makes the news, someone will often claim that those killed would still be alive if the person who killed them did not have a gun. A talking point response to this is to point out that by this reasoning, if OJ Simpson did not have a knife, then the people who were…
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Erich Fromm’s 6 Rules of Listening: The Great Humanistic Philosopher and Psychologist on the Art of Unselfish Understanding
“Understanding and loving are inseparable. If they are separate, it is a cerebral process and the door to essential understanding remains closed.” “An experience makes its appearance only when it is being said,” wrote Hannah Arendt in reflecting on how language confers reality upon existence. “And unless it is said it is, so to speak,…
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How to Handle Provocation: Bertrand Russell’s Remarkable Response to a Fascist
“The emotional universes we inhabit are so distinct, and in deepest ways opposed, that nothing fruitful or sincere could ever emerge from association between us.” “To approach someone else convincingly you must do so with open arms and head held high, and your arms can’t be open unless your head is high,” the Lebanese-born French…
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How to Relate to Your Worst Mistakes: The Life-Shaping Difference Between Regret and Remorse
You know it, that awful moment your coherent self-image shatters and a part of you, shadowy and untended, splits off to cause harm and havoc as the rest of you watches helplessly, wincing. You know the next moment, too — the desperate wish for an undo button you know cannot be had, no matter your…
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How Two Souls Can Interact with One Another: Simone de Beauvoir on Love and Friendship
It is in relationships that we discover both our depths and our limits, there that we anneal ourselves and transcend ourselves, there that we are hurt the most and there that we find the most healing. But despite what a crucible of our emotional and spiritual lives relationships are — or perhaps precisely because of…
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Students Are Citizens, Not Just Consumers
John Adams hoped future generations would have more room for the arts and humanities. A shrinking labor market threatens to close that door.
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Public Speaking Anxiety: A 5-Step Approach
Performance psychiatry isn’t just for pro athletes. This five-step method can help executives handle presentation anxiety.
